I am pleased to introduce Di Mace, a blogger from ‘down under’ who is brimming with creativity and smartitude and appears for the first time today as a guest on the Judy Lee Dunn blog. (I had no idea Di knew so much about zombies or I would have asked her sooner.) Okay, just in case you were confused, this first picture below is not Di’s pic. To see her real face, visit the bio at the end of her post. And while you’re there, be sure to sign up for her blog and/or newsletter.
You need an evil plan. I have one. World domination with my small army at my back is but a *few* pixels away.
Perhaps I’m nuts?
I’m told that pursuing a crazy idea along a nonconformist, passion-driven path is my survival tool to conquer the world. Surely I’m almost there—it’s so close I can smell it.
Or is that something else?
Look around. Rotting corpses litter the digital terrain. Millions of blogs are feeding cyberspace, with more being born (and dying) each day.
And here’s where the zombies come in.
They are standing in the way of my evil plan.
All the stories are real. The truth is that zombies do exist; and they’re not just the lumbering metaphor of a mindless society. The walking dead are amongst us everywhere, and they’re always looking to get *a head.* But their existence and love of brains aren’t confined to the movie screen or page.
In fact, they’re amongst us.
They’re one of us.
Yes, there are zombie blogs.
Zombie blogs represent the silent majority. They’re filled with ideas that keep coming back – that just won’t die. And they’re really scary. They travel in mobs. Individually, they seem easy enough to kill, but in groups their strength can be overwhelming.
Worse still, that mob represents all our blogging fears. They’re killing readers.
Zombie blogs have no living body of new thought. They’re reanimiated husks, shuffling and shambling, mouthing ideas and advice that no longer have real meaning or worth. They’re devoid of passion.
They’re turning entropy into atrophy, infecting readers and spreading the deadly disease of mindless blogging. Collapse is inevitable.
You need to prepare. (As Sun Tzu (The Art of War) said:
“Know thyself, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.”
3 things you need to know about zombie blogs
1. They can’t run.
Zombies don’t manoeuvre well. Running, sprinting or jogging just isn’t possible. Rotting muscles don’t work like that. Given tight, fast-changing environments, they corner badly and often fall over, struggling to right themselves.
There are longish stretches of what appears to be inactivity on a zombie blog, but it’s really because behind the scenes the blogger is unable to pull themself back up to keep posting.
Due to a lack of passion and drive, their motor impulses have degenerated. When they do finally get upright, zombie bloggers are often seen to be shambling along, frequently circling and mindlessly repeating the same movements of write, publish, rinse and repeat.
Great blogs outlive their creators, often taking on new forms and different twists. Creating valuable content isn’t enough. Their ideas live on because they are useful.
Push yourself to your limits. Create your own road map to follow, with as many twists and turns as you want to help shake off any marauding zombies and to give yourself the opportunity to thrive.
Become a lifelong learner and treat your blog as your idea laboratory. Be nimble and persistent, share your stories and open your heart to serve your readers.
Give your ideas handles so readers can carry them.
2. They’re a mob.
The truth is that zombies don’t actually move in mobs. They just appear to. With no social order there’s no mob mentality – activity attracts them – the horde develops to see what’s happening. When a zombie groans it means they’ve found prey. That signals other zombies to gather and watch or participate. Once it’s over, they move on and continue following the sounds of success.
Here’s how it goes with blogging.
Newbies are told to follow person X, write like person Y, follow the rules and copy a Master to be successful. Everyone wants to know the secret rulebook and hopes someone will give it to them.
After a while, it becomes a habit. It’s no longer a groove they’re in, but a grave. From there the mindless, mimicking behaviours of zombie bloghood flourish.
Don’t slavishly follow the mob or an expert. Find your own differentiation and create a new word for it. Get your hands dirty, learn how things work, figure out what’s wrong and design your own model to fix it.
Stand out and collect your own tribe or community of like-minded people. Nurture each and every person. A community of one can be more valuable than a horde—they’ll be hungry to enjoy your work, retell your stories and dream good dreams.
Stop looking for more mob blog rules. There are none.
Make your own.
3. They can’t think or talk.
Having ‘devolved,’ zombies aren’t the sharpest stick in the woodpile. They don’t have the thinking capacity to actually make words and are too dumb to pick up a weapon to slay a foe.
Just about anything placed in their way will easily trip them. Then wrapping their decaying head around how to get past the object takes some time, so if you quietly lay low they’ll eventually meander off, distracted by another noise.
Without original or individual thought, zombie blog behaviour is similarly predictable. Not smart enough to recognise and ignore bad advice, they are relentlessly driven by following the zombie ideas they’ve consumed.
As animated hollow shells, zombies have no original voice.
Be an individual. Now is the time the world needs you, not when you’re perfect. Claim your own writing style and voice and be confident to play.
Think differently and express your true self. Be crazy occasionally. Blogging should be full of challenges, milestones, successes and the obligatory few stumbles. That’s what it’s all about. You have to stretch yourself across it, as well as inhabit the length of it—other wise it’s an adventure only half-lived.
You will not be ‘discovered.’ Make a statement.
It could totally happen to you
In the midst of millions of blogs worldwide, a single zombie blog could go unnoticed, but it will still cause havoc and spread. Blogs filled with undead ideas are symbiotically connected: one infection knocks over another in a sort of zombie-dominoes effect.
Worse still, they can be hard to spot.
Not all zombies are alike. In a zombie filled environment you need to be constantly vigilant, brave and committed to your passion.
Scariest of all is the conservative estimate that half the blog population is in some way infected with the zombie blog parasite. That means your blog is possibly one pixel mutation away from full-blown zombiehood.
Are you putting your own Frankenstein twist on your blog, or are you just mimicking the corpses that litter the web? Have you come up with your own evil plan or crazy idea to do something meaningful that combines your passion and work?
Go. And. Do. It.
Let the other zombie blogs run around, killing readers. Make sure you’re the last real blog standing when the apocalypse comes.
Fortune favours the brave. Not parrots.
It’s your turn to moan
What are your blog’s chances of survival?
What would you recommend to kill the infection or delay the looming apocalypse?
Let us know so we can gather in a comment-mob to moan and discuss.