Zombie Blogs: How Dead Ideas Still Walk Among Us

I am pleased to introduce Di Mace,  a blogger from ‘down under’ who is brimming with creativity and smartitude and appears for the first time today as a guest on the Judy Lee Dunn blog.  (I had no idea Di knew so much about zombies or I would have asked her sooner.)  Okay, just in case you were confused, this first picture below is not Di’s pic. To see her real face, visit the bio at the end of her post. And while you’re there, be sure to sign up for her blog and/or newsletter. 

Zombie blogs: how dead ideas still walk among us

You need an evil plan. I have one. World domination with my small army at my back is but a *few* pixels away.

Perhaps I’m nuts?

I’m told that pursuing a crazy idea along a nonconformist, passion-driven path is my survival tool to conquer the world. Surely I’m almost there—it’s so close I can smell it.

Or is that something else?

Look around. Rotting corpses litter the digital terrain. Millions of blogs are feeding cyberspace, with more being born (and dying) each day.

And here’s where the zombies come in.

They are standing in the way of my evil plan.

All the stories are real. The truth is that zombies do exist;  and they’re not just the lumbering metaphor of a mindless society. The walking dead are amongst us everywhere, and they’re always looking to get *a head.* But their existence and love of brains aren’t confined to the movie screen or page.

In fact, they’re amongst us.

They’re one of us.

Yes, there are zombie blogs.

The rising

Zombie blogs represent the silent majority. They’re filled with ideas that keep coming back – that just won’t die. And they’re really scary. They travel in mobs. Individually, they seem easy enough to kill, but in groups their strength can be overwhelming.

Worse still, that mob represents all our blogging fears. They’re killing readers.

Zombie blogs have no living body of new thought. They’re reanimiated husks, shuffling and shambling, mouthing ideas and advice that no longer have real meaning or worth. They’re devoid of passion.

They’re turning entropy into atrophy, infecting readers and spreading the deadly disease of mindless blogging. Collapse is inevitable.

You need to prepare. (As Sun Tzu (The Art of Warsaid:

                  “Know thyself, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.”

3 things you need to know about zombie blogs

1. They can’t run.

They can't run

a. Identify

Zombies don’t manoeuvre well. Running, sprinting or jogging just isn’t possible. Rotting muscles don’t work like that. Given tight, fast-changing environments, they corner badly and often fall over, struggling to right themselves.

There are longish stretches of what appears to be inactivity on a zombie blog, but it’s really because behind the scenes the blogger is unable to pull themself back up to keep posting.

Due to a lack of passion and drive, their motor impulses have degenerated. When they do finally get upright, zombie bloggers are often seen to be shambling along, frequently circling and mindlessly repeating the same movements of write, publish, rinse and repeat.

b. Fortify

Great blogs outlive their creators, often taking on new forms and different twists. Creating valuable content isn’t enough. Their ideas live on because they are useful.

Push yourself to your limits. Create your own road map to follow, with as many twists and turns as you want to help shake off any marauding zombies and to give yourself the opportunity to thrive.

Become a lifelong learner and treat your blog as your idea laboratory. Be nimble and persistent, share your stories and open your heart to serve your readers.

c. Survive

Give your ideas handles so readers can carry them.

2. They’re a mob.

They're a mob

a. Identify

The truth is that zombies don’t actually move in mobs. They just appear to. With no social order there’s no mob mentality – activity attracts them – the horde develops to see what’s happening. When a zombie groans it means they’ve found prey. That signals other zombies to gather and watch or participate. Once it’s over, they move on and continue following the sounds of success.

Here’s how it goes with blogging.

Newbies are told to follow person X, write like person Y, follow the rules and copy a Master to be successful. Everyone wants to know the secret rulebook and hopes someone will give it to them.

After a while, it becomes a habit. It’s no longer a groove they’re in, but a grave. From there the mindless, mimicking behaviours of zombie bloghood flourish.

b. Fortify

Don’t slavishly follow the mob or an expert. Find your own differentiation and create a new word for it. Get your hands dirty, learn how things work, figure out what’s wrong and design your own model to fix it.

Stand out and collect your own tribe or community of like-minded people. Nurture each and every person. A community of one can be more valuable than a horde—they’ll be hungry to enjoy your work, retell your stories and dream good dreams.

c. Survive

Stop looking for more mob blog rules. There are none.

Make your own.

3. They can’t think or talk.

They can't think or talk

a. Identify

Having ‘devolved,’ zombies aren’t the sharpest stick in the woodpile. They don’t have the thinking capacity to actually make words and are too dumb to pick up a weapon to slay a foe.

Just about anything placed in their way will easily trip them. Then wrapping their decaying head around how to get past the object takes some time, so if you quietly lay low they’ll eventually meander off, distracted by another noise.

Without original or individual thought, zombie blog behaviour is similarly predictable. Not smart enough to recognise and ignore bad advice, they are relentlessly driven by following the zombie ideas they’ve consumed.

As animated hollow shells, zombies have no original voice.

b. Fortify

Be an individual. Now is the time the world needs you, not when you’re perfect. Claim your own writing style and voice and be confident to play.

Think differently and express your true self. Be crazy occasionally. Blogging should be full of challenges, milestones, successes and the obligatory few stumbles. That’s what it’s all about. You have to stretch yourself across it, as well as inhabit the length of it—other wise it’s an adventure only half-lived.

c. Survive

You will not be ‘discovered.’ Make a statement.

It could totally happen to you

In the midst of millions of blogs worldwide, a single zombie blog could go unnoticed, but it will still cause havoc and spread. Blogs filled with undead ideas are symbiotically connected: one infection knocks over another in a sort of zombie-dominoes effect.

Worse still, they can be hard to spot.

Not all zombies are alike. In a zombie filled environment you need to be constantly vigilant, brave and committed to your passion.

Scariest of all is the conservative estimate that half the blog population is in some way infected with the zombie blog parasite. That means your blog is possibly one pixel mutation away from full-blown zombiehood.

Are you putting your own Frankenstein twist on your blog, or are you just mimicking the corpses that litter the web? Have you come up with your own evil plan or crazy idea to do something meaningful that combines your passion and work?

Go. And. Do. It.

Let the other zombie blogs run around, killing readers. Make sure you’re the last real blog standing when the apocalypse comes.

Fortune favours the brave. Not parrots.

It’s your turn to moan

What are your blog’s chances of survival?

What would you recommend to kill the infection or delay the looming apocalypse?

Let us know so we can gather in a comment-mob to moan and discuss.

Make sure you don’t miss a post.

16 Comments

  1. David bridger September 24, 2012 at 8:52 am #

    You’re right! They’re everywhere!

    Thanks for an ace post. I particularly love “Give your ideas handles so readers can carry them” and the reminder not to wait until I’m perfect. Because, y’know, that isn’t happening anytime soon. 🙂

    Reply

    • Di Mace September 24, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

      Hi David,
      Glad you liked it and found some inspiration 🙂 And I’m with you on the “They’re everywhere”…ever since I wrote this post I’ve been haunted by them lurking and groaning around every corner I turn!
      Funny thing about the ‘perfect’ comment is that I had *thought* I was a recovering perfectionist…until I went to write this guest post. Then it all came back out of the woodwork and I was a puddle of insecurities on the floor 🙂 Really hard to type from that position on the floor……

      Reply

  2. Kim September 24, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    This is my ultimate fear as a new blogger. And zombies are kinda scary anyway, so wow, awesome imagery, here. I’m definitely marking this post to come back to!

    Reply

    • Di Mace September 24, 2012 at 7:40 pm #

      Hi Kim,
      Great to see you here as a new blogger, we’ve all been there. You’ll learn heaps from Judy’s gentle lead – I certainly have – as the blogosphere can wrap you up in a little ‘unreal’ bubble that’s sometimes filled with zombies and other creepy undead things that can suck you dry. At those times Judy’s posts managed to help me through it all. She’s on your side!

      Reply

      • Judy Lee Dunn September 25, 2012 at 10:13 am #

        You are my definition of a model guest poster, Di. You did everything right. You threw our several ideas, I picked one, and you came through with amazing content. And you are coming back in to respond to comments. Thanks for the engaging, fun post.

        Reply

  3. Linda Leyble September 24, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    Hi Judy – what a great post. How right you are and I have to remember your advice. I always try to be authentic and different – not running with the mob. But the mob of zombies in my arena are pretty darn strong. They are joined at the hip with other zombies and it seems like my little voice gets lost in the shuffle.

    But – I love what you said about nurturing other like-minded bloggers. I need to do that much more often. I have made a few blog friends who are doing some incredible things…different things. Those bloggers are the ones I need to link up with more, commenting on their blogs and encouraging a real community.

    Thanks!

    Reply

    • Di Mace September 24, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

      Hi Linda, Di here.
      Damn those mobs. But I’m told (by my resident 14yr old expert) that there are some forms of defence you could use against a zombie mob:
      1. Their safety is in numbers – singled out they can be killed off very easily with your own persistence and resistance (you have the brain remember) so stick with your own voice and make it true and clear :).
      2. They can’t climb – go take the higher ground and nichify. Find your own small crowd of likeminded people and stay above the mobbing mayhem. Whatever you do, don’t go down to their level.

      Reply

  4. Linda September 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

    Good evening, Di.

    I’m good. There ‘aint no way them thar zombies’ are gonna get past me an’ my mega mouth!
    One whip of my wit and I’ll blast ’em away. Grunge in groups will be what y’all see when I’ve zapped them zombies with my horrible humour.
    Saving planet blog is my mission. I’m on it!

    Or put another way… I thoroughly agree we must endeavour to ensure that only the finest quality writing and thinking prevails on our blog planet.

    Kind regards,
    L

    Reply

    • Di Mace September 24, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

      Woohoo, a gun-toting gal after my own heart! I love your evil plan of saving planet blog – I’m in. Let’s blow away those zombies and keep our planet safe. Di

      Reply

  5. Bill Dorman September 27, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    It’s so close I can taste it…………brains that is…………:).

    I have some friends that can’t think or talk; at first I just thought they were slow, but I have since learned they are really just zombies. And you are right, they can’t run. I like to flick their ears off and then make them chase me………..I always win………..but they are relentless however………

    Very well done indeed……….

    Reply

    • Di Mace September 27, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

      HI Bill,
      Coming from you, I’m flattered by your words 🙂 You write with such ease and candour I must admit to being jelly at times. And yes, its the zombie groaning that gets me down – some even whine – but mainly its the faces they pull that get me…… And watching them trying to climb a tree is hilarious!

      Reply

  6. Ralph September 29, 2012 at 6:00 am #

    Ha! Nice piece. I find this stuff scary at times because personally I can’t necessarily tell which blogs are zombies. Not sure what that says for me.

    Great ideas here to maintain individuality and build on personal experiences. Making a statement. That’s the rub, right there. I guess all I can do is keep trying and watch my back. Thanks.

    Reply

    • Judy Lee Dunn September 29, 2012 at 10:23 am #

      Hey, Ralph. I’ll bet you can tell which blogs are zombie-like, with recycled ideas, and which ones have fresh perspectives. In fact I’ll bet that if you look at the blogs you follow, they are in the second category. As they say, “there are no new ideas under the sun,” but there are new ways to spin existing ideas.

      I agree. Di did such a fine job with this post. I will say that now because although it’s 10:27am here, I suspect it’s the middle of the night in Australia and she is fast asleep. : ) Thanks for stopping by. And a big congrats to you for being Gini’s recent “follow Friday” recommendation on the Spin Sucks blog! Well-deserved and hope you got some new followers/subscribers from it.

      Reply

    • Di Mace September 30, 2012 at 1:40 am #

      Hi Ralph, Sorry for the delay…as Judy said I was deep in my Sunday morning slumber zzzzzzzz…….
      And you are perefectly right…it’s about standing true, being individual and always looking at things from different angles. I’d never realised what a great narrative device zombies coudl be until I tried…they’re so wonderfully empty and flexible (no muscle control really) that you can fill them up with whatever you want!

      Reply

  7. Roger December 9, 2012 at 11:14 pm #

    Thank you (excuse me, English is not my mother tongue), I find your article well structured, but I think you are biased in your approach to this issue. This is usually the case with this type of subject, the controversy is never far away. Regards, Roger

    Reply

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