I subscribed to a new blog a few weeks ago. I won’t say which one because it doesn’t matter.
He’s a pretty important guy in the social media world. He has written a bestseller book.
He also peppers his posts with obscenities.
I can sort of see why some bloggers feel they have to slap us in the face to get our attention.
Because we are jaded. We’ve seen it all.
But, you see, it is easy to drop the “F bomb” into a post, even into a headline. Any one of us can do that.
And aside from desensitizing us (because we hear that word so much and, really what does it mean anymore?), I think it says something else about the blogger.
It gives me the impression that she doesn’t know how to communicate. That she doesn’t have a very large vocabulary.
That she doesn’t have the time or skill to express her emotions in ways that will connect with me, her reader.
Now, I know what you are thinking.
You are a writer. Most bloggers are not.
Okay, that’s fair.
I have always been in love with words. When I was a teacher, if my students disappointed me in some way, I used to use a strategy that not only modeled honest communication and sharing of feelings, but reinforced the learning of new vocabulary.
Because why not use it as a ‘teachable moment,’ right?
So, if I left the classroom and returned to find them out of their seats or otherwise not on task, I might say:
“I’m disappointed in you. I’m saddened and discouraged by this. I am disillusioned.”
Because they were first graders, they didn’t understand some of the words. But they could tell something about what they meant by the way I used them.
By watching and listening, they saw an adult modeling communication skills. They saw the power of words.
And they learned how to attach feeling, emotions and meaning to them.
Do ‘F Bomb’ Bloggers Have a Strategy?
What about my blogger? Did he consciously decide when and where to use a ‘swear,’ as we used to call them growing up?
In a recent 500-word post of his, I counted 23 of them.
Might be that he’s decided that his blog’s brand is edgy, angry, confrontational.
Hey, if it’s working…
He may be purposely going after the I’m-mad-as-hell-and-I’m-not-going-to-take-it-anymore crowd.
And because I’m not impressed, or I can’t hear the message sandwiched in between all the “F” words, I’m probably not his audience.
On the other hand, as a writer, I’ve learned that every word is used for a purpose, for a particular effect. If there isn’t a good reason for that word, I don’t use it, no matter how much I’d like to.
An example: The movie Get Shorty, with John Travolta and Gene Hackman, is about a loan shark (Travolta) who travels to Hollywood to collect a debt and discovers that the movie business is much the same as his current job.
In the movie, the “F bomb” is dropped 96 times. Get Shorty is also one of just 12 films that broke the one-fuck-per-minute barrier, a good percentage of them spoken by the mobster Momo.
Hey. What can I say? He’s a mobster.
Making Momo talk like that is defining his character for us.
Which begs the question, are we playing a character when we blog or are we showing our readers who we really are?
And if “F” bomb bloggers are showing us their authentic selves, shouldn’t they do that across the board, in all of their messaging? Even in their bestselling books?
What’s your take on this?
Have “F Bomb” bloggers figured out a brilliant branding strategy?
Or are they just plain lazy—unwilling to do the hard work it takes to communicate their exact thoughts, opinions and feelings?
If you are a business blogger who reads marketing and business blogs, are you distracted from the message when the blogger uses words just for shock value?
Do you think it’s a good branding strategy?
If you are a fiction writer, I want you to weigh in here, too. When do you give a character a potty mouth and why do you do it?
Tell me what you think.
Christopher Wills says
May 6, 2011 at 3:24 pmIt’s difficult to pass judgement on someone without knowing more about them. However if I meet someone who uses the F word a lot I normally attach one of two labels to them; doesn’t know any better or pretending to act tough. In the case you describe it sounds like the latter. How sad. 🙁
Judy Dunn says
May 6, 2011 at 3:59 pmChristopher,
Thanks for weighing in here. I purposely left out details—the blog name, author name, etc.—because I was not so much wanting to call someone out as hear people’s thoughts on language in blogs that appears to solely be used for shock value and attracting readers. I’m leaning toward thinking it’s just a strategy to cultivate a certain following. And there is certainly nothing wrong with that. In fact, that’s what good niched blogs do. Interesting to hear what others think, though. : )
Lauren "Scribe" Harris says
May 6, 2011 at 3:37 pmI agree with Christopher that it’s hard to pass judgement without reading it myself. It’s possible the bloggers in question are attempting to evoke a raw, real, edgy voice that reaches out to the disillusioned. A lot of circles certainly resonate with that. It’s also possible that they’re trying to emulate a speech-like feel to their writing. Heck, one of my best friends drops the F-bomb a lot in her regular speech, and she’s a great writer with a great vocabulary.
I’m sort of playing devil’s advocate here, because I don’t use the f-bomb in my blogging, even if I use it in my speech when I interact with my peers. It’s become frighteningly commonplace in the generation currently in their 20’s. Even so, I feel like my writing is more an accurate depiction of who I am, so I take a lot more care in how I present myself when I’m writing.
Laziness is one possibility, but I think it’s probably got a lot more to do with branding and connecting with a specific group, with no regard for who it alienates. After all, if the writer is trying to affect a “disillusioned” voice, they can probably affect a “losing readers because of my language” mindset as well.
My two cents turned into dollars. Whoops.
Judy Dunn says
May 6, 2011 at 4:08 pmLauren,
What a thoughtful reply. I do understand the differences in generations and the 20-somethings have grown up with it. I’m thinking it’s branding, too.
I wrote a post on For Bloggers, By Bloggers a while back called Why Losing Blog Subscribers Is a Good Thing. The premise being, that we should be happy when we lose some of our readers because we are getting closer to where we need to be with our blog: laser focused on our “right audience.”
In case you are interested, that post is here:
http://bestbloggingtipsonline.com/why-losing-blog-subcribers-is-a-good-thing/
Thanks for sharing. : )
Nic Wirtz says
May 7, 2011 at 10:38 pmI’m 30 something and I grew up with it. The words have always been there, each generation gets to discover them.
I swear in real life often, I have so far chosen not to in blogs but reserve the right to do so, as and when I feel like it.
Aren’t we all supposed to be authentic, transparent, genuine and above all real in social media? If so there should be more swearing on some blogs.
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 10:28 amAbsolutely. Authentic, transparent, genuine. When that happens, it’s a good thing. Some readers will be naturally attracted to swearing in a blog post and others? Not so much. I think it’s all about finding our true audience. : )
Bill Dorman says
May 7, 2011 at 11:28 amThose little whippersnappers; I thought she was talking about farting. And look how lazy they are; what’s this world coming too……….:).
There’s my $1.37…..
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 11:46 amI really like that word. Whippersnappers. Like it makes me smile.
Patricia Yager Delagrange says
May 6, 2011 at 6:07 pmExtraordinarily interesting post here. I’ve never read a blog with any swear words and, frankly, I would be really surprised if the people whose blogs I follow started using any swear words. And it’s not that I’m purposely gravitating toward blogs that “don’t” use profanity. It’s just that the writers I follow wouldn’t do that. Are we all a bunch of pristine non-potty-mouth individuals? I doubt that, but I don’t use profanity in my blogs because I believe I would offend someone and that’s not what I want to do. I want people to read my blogs and share their opinions. I don’t want to alienate anyone. But I agree with the first two comments, that without reading said blog, I don’t who s/he is trying to appeal to.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:08 amPatricia,
Yeah, I tend to think that it’s a conscious decision to use profanity, especially if you drop the words that many times in a blog post. I think some bloggers use it for the express purpose of, as you say, alienating certain people (and attracting others).
peter notschke says
May 6, 2011 at 6:29 pmlazy …. one of the best comedy acts I have seen live is “Bill Cosby” never hear him use any profane language and still packs them in
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:11 amPeter,
Ha! Yeah, Bill Cosby. Bet some of today’s standup comedians couldn’t pull that off: making us fall down laughing just by the way they observe life—what they see and how they communicate it. Good point.
Nic Wirtz says
May 7, 2011 at 10:34 pmAnd one of the best comedians I’ve seen was Bill Hicks and he swore often. Volume of swearing or lack of it is not a good indicator of talent.
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 10:34 amGood point, Nick. I also think it’s quite possible to carry a 2-hour stand-up performance without a single swear word. It just comes down to personal taste.
And it depends on the writers. The same actor who plays in a TV sit com may have lines with no swear words, but a writer might be liberal with them when writing that same comedian’s lines for a stand-up gig. I’m thinking of George Carlin. Edgy, provocative but hilarious. Somehow I expect that in entertainment venues more than I do on a business blog.
This dude's crazy says
May 6, 2011 at 6:31 pmThere is a song that I like to crank up every once in a while from a group called The Insane Clown Posse. It is entitled “F*(k the World”, and in it the “f” bomb is said 93 times within the span of 3:45 secs. There are times when a loud version blasted through the speakers sets the right reflection of the mood. Everyone gets pissy and decides to tell the world to take a long walk off a short pier every once in a while. However that being said, a blogger might take care against such silliness.
It is one thing for a group trying to sell records relying on shock factor, but a blogger has a different reputation. One that I would think does not need to stoop to the lower level of interaction. As well, putting my SEO hat here, if a blogger spends so much time spitting vulgarities on their site, the big G and the other SE’s might just get the wrong impression about their site and put them somewheres they really wish they were not. These bloggers would think twice I would speculate if they truly understood word count and emphasis on words in their blogs.
I myself am known to put my foot in my mouth on quite the occasion on many a social platform, but if they become to much to handle, perhaps sending them a message and letting them know what you think? You never know, you could be the catalyst that sets your favorite blogger back on the right track 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:16 amChris,
You bring up some interesting points. And wow, 93 “F bombs” in under 4 minutes. That would certainly get you in the mood for something. : )
You know, I didn’t even address the SEO factor. (I was so focused on the experience of the reader). But now I wonder about the spam filters. Another one of this guy’s posts had two words associated with porn spam right next to each other in the title. Interesting question.
Danny Brown says
May 6, 2011 at 8:14 pmI hear Chris Brogan’s co-author on Trust Agents swears a lot in his blog… 😉
I guess it comes down to two things. Does the blogger swear a lot naturally?
1. Yes – then he’s just carrying his offline person across to his online one. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
2. No – then he’s either craving attention or just going for shock value, in which case, yeah, probably lazy. 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:19 amDanny,
Haha. Guess I’d have to get up pretty early in the morning to put one over on you.
Have no idea if this guy swears a lot in normal conversation. He’s young and has an attitude. Not sure I’d ever want to be in a conversation with him. : )
Brad says
May 10, 2011 at 10:39 amDanny, I gotta add another point here. I try to filter bad language around my children and wife out of respect and being a gentleman.
Online, I enjoy opening the flood gates. That doesn’t mean I can’t communicate as Judy suggests, it simply means that I swear when appropriate for mt post or point that I try to convey.
I like to write without restrictions and without fear of consequence as I feel everyone should.
What do you think Judy?
Judy Dunn says
May 10, 2011 at 11:36 amBrad,
Respect. It certainly come into play. But do just wives and children deserve it, or does that apply to the readers of your blog, too? It’s probably a moot point because any reader who lands on your blog and is offended (or distracted) by your language has a choice, She can either leave or stay. So we vote with our feet.
This topic has wandered off in many different directions but I think that it’s a complicated subject and people have diverse views. And I would never paint you with the broad brush of you-have-no-communication-skills-because-you-swear. I just wonder if it’s sometimes easier to use those words than to find the just right one that adds more meaning to the message. Maybe. Maybe not.
I heartily recommend the “write without restrictions” that you speak of. Too many stuffy posts because they don’t come from the heart. Thanks for offering yet another perspective, Brad. : )
Tshombe says
May 6, 2011 at 8:28 pmThis is a very interesting topic, Judy. As some have already commented, I might’ve liked to know who the blogger is in question – not to ‘call her out,’ but to really get the context of the blog and see whether there is any real purpose for using the f-word on a regular basis.
That said, 23 F-words in a 500-word post does seem a little excessive.
I’ve previously heard the argument that those who use profanity are either lazy or lack in the vocabulary department, but in my experience, most of those who favor profanity in certain contexts also are quite professionally articulate in others.
As Danny Brown offers, I’d like to think the blogger is being congruent in both her online and offline personas.
Otherwise, it could be for shock value, or a specific branding strategy, as you suggest.
Certainly food for thought for those of us who blog, whether or not we use profanity liberally or at all…..
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:23 amTshombe,
Fascinating on the is-he-just-lazy question. As a writer, I know how hard it is to find just the right word and so I may be biased a little bit here. I mostly was looking for the reader perspective here. You make a good point about context, although I still would like to see the same person, whatever method they choose to communicate.
Thanks for weighing in here. Always good to hear your thoughts.
Jason mKey says
May 6, 2011 at 8:34 pmI’ve struggled with this particular issue, being someone who has yet to curse in a post, but has felt the need to many times.
When we refuse to use a certain word, especially one that we occasionally use in real conversation, are we doing a disservice by censoring who really are? I don’t think there’s an easy answer.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:31 amJason,
“…being someone who has yet to curse in a post, but has felt the need to many times.” Ha!
I am totally not for censoring our real selves. Well-placed and used for emphasis in a real context? Yes. But every other line? Not sure. And the context matters. Bloggers have a certain (sometimes small) audience. A presidential candidate? Much bigger audience and a need to “please” as many people as possible. For instance, in that infamous speech Donald Trump recently made in Las Vegas, certain people in the audience said afterward that he was going to tone it down and drop the “F” words if he expects to be taken seriously as a candidate. So it’s about context.
Complicated subject.
Deborah Taylor-French says
May 6, 2011 at 8:39 pmThe problem with over doing anything, including swearing, is that it wears out, loses impact and becomes boring. Reserving explosive words works to release tension or to show conflict in fiction, but letting them fly all the time shows a lack of imagination. Thinking up fresh imagines, jokes or crazed expressions takes impulse control. The mass culture goes for low, fast and easy. I don’t bother with those who are too lazy to think.
Perhaps, those who swear too often err on the side of wishful thinking or youthful self-absorption?
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:34 amDeborah,
Well, good. Another writer weighs in on this issue. I agree that, overused, it loses its impact. It almost becomes funny to me. And if it’s a rant in a blog post, the blogger is probably not going for funny.
I do think it might be a generational thing, too. This guys seems pretty young.
Elizabeth Young says
May 7, 2011 at 12:23 amI am extremely glad you have addressed this highly relevant topic. I have always felt that cursing is for people with a low vocabulary and it says something of the person’s character to use it in a professional setting. There was one post on someone’s blog that was very well read but I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole because it had the ‘F’ word in the title. My personal protest was to refuse to read it. To me cursing via blogging OR writing is abusive and completely unnecessary.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:41 amElizabeth,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Definitely using those words in the title will either attract or repel a reader. And sometimes it’s actually a strategy to entice people to open up the post, which, it turns out, has nothing to do with the headline.
Scribo says
May 7, 2011 at 12:43 amThink about it. How many times do you swear in your thoughts? Having seen a bad movie you think ”This was really a piece of crap” but you write in your blog that the movie vas terrible. When your vacuum cleaner breaks down and you think “I hate this fu… machine” and maybe you even shout it out loud. Will you put this in your blog or something totally different?
This person maybe have a perfect vocabulary but is honest and write down his thoughts instead of holding back.
Sorry for the grammar. English is not my native language.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:45 amScribo,
First of all, apologize for the grammar? You use English well, so no need for “sorry.” : )
I laughed at your “…piece of crap” comment because I used that phrase in a post I wrote just last week. Sometimes a word just fits. And if it does, use it!
Very interesting perspective, about the blogger being honest. I wasn’t totally convinced of that, but your point is well taken. Thanks for sharing it.
Jon Stow says
May 7, 2011 at 3:24 amI accept that when many people talk they will slip in the odd profanity. It is a habit they have slipped into and I don’t judge their characters on that, but on the more rounded impression of what they say and do.
However most of us type our on-line posts and therefore a blogger must consciously insert the “F” word because surely it does not just slip out. Even if a person composes using voice recognition software we all have to edit, don’t we?
Swearing does not reinforce or add to prose of any description unless it is fiction where you are painting a character, and of course it was the same in Get Shorty. Somehow using profanities in blogging seems to show an inability on behalf of the writer to express her/himself unless the blog is aimed at the minority who think that language is modern or hip etc.. That would be a small audience outside the world of the personal blog.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:49 amJon,
Great point. Yes, you do have to consciously type every letter of every word. So that means that you must have to think about the word you want to use before you do that. So in that way, it’s a little different form spontaneous conversation.
Nic Wirtz says
May 7, 2011 at 10:44 pmHow about those bloggers who have conversational style of writing? One of the best ways to connect with your audience I was told is to imagine how you’d talk to them in a social setting.
Specifically it was at a pub. I don’t know about the bars you frequented but “industrial language” was fairly common in the ones I went to.
As has already been stated, it’s a way to connect with the audience you want to associate with.
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 7:58 amNic,
Wow, so many good points you bring up. And, yes, write like you talk is very good advice. One of my questions would be does this blogger really talk this way (that many obscenities) in his normal conversation with business colleagues? With clients? In the book he wrote?
And yes again, in a pub, it’s common. And somehow more acceptable. (Love your term “industrial language”).
The other thing is that a blog is out there. It’s part of your digital, forever, footprint. Potential clients and employers can google you and see what comes up. But that’s a different issue and probably not relative to this conversation.
Thanks for adding such value to the conversation, Nic. : )
Michelle says
May 7, 2011 at 5:57 amI honestly don’t notice when someone blogs with the “F-Word” anymore. It doesn’t distract me as long as it is used in what feels like a natural manner- when dropped in to punctuate a particularly vivid point or expression.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 8:54 amMichelle,
Good to see you here. Thanks for weighing in.
I’m with you on the “…to punctuate a particularly vivid point or expression.” That is when that word has the most impact. But used indiscriminately, it loses its power. At least for me.
Kendall Grey says
May 7, 2011 at 8:31 amGuilty as charged.
I use profanity regularly in my posts and Tweets. I do it for several reasons. 1) It’s how I talk, so it comes naturally. 2) It’s representative of the literature I write and how some of my characters talk. 3) It’s part of my brand. It works for me. It’s not for everyone though, so I understant where you’re coming from.
Thanks for your post. I’m writing a response and should have it up on my blog Monday. 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 9:17 amKendall,
I am glad some authors are weighing in here because, I absolutely agree with you. I work with authors who are building their brand and writing certain kinds of books, in specific genres, and it makes total sense for them. My question for the business blogger is, “Is this really your brand? Do you write and talk this way everywhere or just on your blog? And if so, then who are you (which person)?
It’s a trust factor because I may be doing business with you in the future.
Thanks for sharing. I’d be interested in reading your post when it comes out. : )
Jean Gogolin says
May 7, 2011 at 10:08 amI’d say the best-known of the F-word writers is probably Naomi who-needs-no-last-name of IttyBiz, who calls herself potty mouth. In her case, I’m pretty sure the potty mouth words are neither laziness or a poor vocabulary. They’re her personality, which you either enjoy or not.
I don’t use her language on my own blog because I’m trying to attract a different audience (science writers), though I do sometimes use that language day to day. I enjoy Naomi for her energy and forthrightness. And she’s never dull!
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 10:16 amJean,
For a minute, I thought you were getting all Harry Potter on me (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named). : )
I’m glad you mentioned Naomi. I love her. She’s authentic. On Twitter, on her blog, everywhere. But I get sense that it’s not just for shock value. It’s just Naomi. (She even warns people that she might not be their thing for that reason. Now that’s honesty.)
Bill Dorman says
May 7, 2011 at 11:25 amOk, you started out w/ ‘he’ and I’m thinking I sure hope that isn’t me and then you reverted to ‘she’ so I thought I was in the clear; and then you dropped down to ‘he’ again. Was it really that offensive? BTW thanks for giving me credit for the best seller; actually I think it was only # 7 on the Times list.
From a sophomoric standpoint it’s almost like the other f word…..fart. I find it somewhat humorous, but there really is no place for it. You should be able to paint as vivid a picture with your words
w/out having to revert to shock value or profanity.
I’m not offended by it, but dedending on your audience probably not necessary.
Am I a fiction writer….uh, lets see fiction means false and non-fiction means not false……..this is too hard…..I hate these tests…….
Good to see you Judy, hope you have having a great weekend.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 11:46 amYeah, I’m just messin’ with you. Making you sweat. Did you get found out? Or not?
And I thought some people would be thinking “fart” all along. When I taught first graders, fart was number one on the list for hysterical laughs. They were also fond of “poop.”
Maybe there will be a post sometime where you could use “fart.”
Walt says
May 7, 2011 at 1:18 pmI like your use of the term “F-bomb”.
I use it rarely. Two reasons: first, I just don’t like hearing excessive swearing (although I’m way guilty in my personal life…). Second, overuse diminishes the impact. When I do use it, it stands out: when my character says “I just wanted to kill those fucks,” I’m hoping my readers realize this guy is seriously pissed off.
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 1:59 pmWalt,
I hear you. Writers consciously make these kinds of decisions all the time. Used carefully and for a reason, the words a character uses tell us tons about him or her. Good point.
Tammy Redmon says
May 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm” Words are powerful, choose them and use them wisely.” that’s what I always say. I don’t like most swear words and believe they have little place in the dialogue.
It’s not just the F-bomb, it’s all of them. I had to stop following a blogger because of the constant use of various swear words. They just didn’t fit for me or my taste.
There are so many powerful words available to us, I’ve never understood the need for or the why behind using fowl ones.
I never thought about it in terms of “Lazy” just merely distasteful and in my mind, disrespectful to your reader.
Wow, I guess I sound a bit like a prude, haha. 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 7, 2011 at 5:39 pmTammy,
Words are powerful. I tried to teach that to my little first graders. I think the lesson still stands. Not sure that makes you a prude. It’s just different bloggers, different styles and different expectations. I guess that says a lot about target audiences, right?
Jon Stow says
May 8, 2011 at 2:33 amTammy, I agree. If people cannot express themselves fully in writing without swearing, even using asterisks, they need to work on their writing. I hear people swear and I have been known to swear myself when I have banged my elbow on the door handle, but I am uncomfortable with bloggers who swear persistently and don’t follow any. Of course I may not be within their target audience anyway.
You are not a prude, unless I am too. 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 7:48 amJon,
What you say here is important. Each reader decides to follow or not follow and so the blogger is really finding his or her niche audience, the people who love what they have to say and how they say it, by the way they blog.
Everyone finds their own way on this one.
Robyn M Fritz says
May 7, 2011 at 9:13 pmSo as for swearing, I grew up swearing because I went fishing with my dad. Seriously. And the whole blogging thing vs. writer thing is another interesting issue.
I still tend to swear but I think I’ve outgrown it in public (Judy, you can correct me here, if I swore in any of the seminars we’ve been in or taught together). I think I’m too busy usually trying to give information and letting my sense of humor tell jokes.
Using swear words has always puzzled me. I learned that you don’t say certain words in public, yet I see hatred and contempt and extremely unsociable behavior out there, from on the street to in blogs. That shocks me more.
Had an interesting conversation tonight with friends at dinner over the events in the world this week. We disagreed completely over what we think is appropriate, civilized behavior to terrorism. We didn’t swear at all, but it was a solemn conversation.
About a year and a half ago my youngest dog was nearly killed out in front of our home. He was mauled by another dog. The only reasons he survived were that he has very thick hair around his neck so the dog couldn’t get the death grip it tried for, my older dog was inside, I had two hands to intervene, and a fury unmatched in my life.
It took everything I had to break the dog’s grip. Then I somehow threw it about 15 feet, all while the owner stood there doing nothing. What happened next? I unleashed a 15-minute tirade in the owner’s face, screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, and even chased her down the street screaming at her. I knew exactly what I was doing and had no intention of stopping. And didn’t. The part of me screaming very rationally chose the nastiest cruelest things I could say, all while detailing for her exactly what a terrible dog person she was. And then I sent Animal Control after her.
A long way of saying that was fear and anger and adrenaline. They now call me “Fierce Mama” in the neighborhood. So how does that translate to obscenities in blogging?
Lazy, yes. Unimaginative. Not interested in dialogue, but perhaps in a dim view of shock value. A bit lacking in talent or we could see something in the opinion expressed that was worth responding to. But is it necessary to tell the story? Is it a visceral reaction to a serious event?
If you make it hard for people to get past what they might consider offensive to get to what you have to say, then they’ll never know things about you that could be important as part of our mutual dialogue in creating community (and doing business): like why I could watch a royal wedding for hours but cry that my country murdered a terrorist (Nuremberg anyone?). But having the dialogue allows us to disagree and agree and learn from each other.
So what do you write to create dialogue and not pander to the lowest and easiest common denominator.
Well, check out Beth Harris at the AP, who wrote a story today on the Kentucky Derby winner. The lead sentence: “John Velazquez won the Kentucky Derby by a broken nose.” (I’d attach a link but I’m not that talented in a comment format.)She nailed the whole story in a sentence. It was a great story she was telling, and there it was, all summed up in one sentence (which I clearly have not done in these comments!).
So if you can write a sentence like that what else do you need? Not a few cheap swear words. Or to clutter your opinion so we can’t get to it. What if you wrote something that would change the world, but nobody read it because you alienated us before we could get into it?
Sorry for the long post, folks. Judy you always raise good issues.
Robyn
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 8:08 amRobyn,
Wow. Just wow. You should think about becoming a writer or something. : )
I have thought about the changes in what’s acceptable language in public, too. I don’t know what it is, perhaps part of it is that social media channels of communication allow us to be (or feel that we are) anonymous.
The story of your dog is illustrative (and had great impact for me) because I could feel your emotions. And swearing to that woman made perfect sense to me. Someone had done something to endanger the life of your beloved pet. Yeah, I think I’m right with you on that one.
I guess for this blogger it boils down to whether he is willing to exclude or turn away readers with his strategy. Heck, I wrote an off-topic post after my dad died (no obscenities) and two people unsubscribed right after that post. So we are always at risk of losing readers with every post we write. As long as we are being true to ourselves, I don’t think we need to worry about it. We will attract our “right people.” On the other hand, if someone is offended, they have every right to feel that way and every right to leave the blog and not come back.
And that opening line of Beth Harris’s? Perfect. I so admire talented writers.
Nic Wirtz says
May 7, 2011 at 10:56 pmIn the post you describe it as “potty mouth” and “lazy”, that the blogger is devoid of a large vocabulary. However, in your responses you accept that profanity can be person x being person x.
The two are not mutually exclusive, either you disagree with it or you do not. How can you accept person x being person x without accepting profanity?
Something that people have not weighed in on is culture. It is more culturally acceptable to swear amongst friends in Europe than it is in the US, even in a generation more accepting of it.
The mere fact that people of all ages refer to it as “dropping the F-Bomb”, as if it is some kind of conversational explosive, shows tacit disapproval at best.
We are blogging to a worldwide audience, precisely how different people react to profanity will go a long way to deciding how successful the blog is.
Something I’d like to see is an all or nothing policy. Please swear or don’t bother. F*** or F…. is surely one of the most pointless uses of keyboard symbols ever devised.
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 7:44 amNic,
Thanks for sharing your perspective here. I really, really wanted to get people talking here and I’m loving the rich discussion. Writers do tend to look at it as lazy because we are looking through the lens of finding that just right word, always. But you are right. There are probably smart bloggers with outstanding language skills who don’t use those words solely because they don’t have an alternative.
I have a finely tuned BS-o-meter and like to think that I can tell when someone is being authentic. That said, it doesn’t feel right when “fuck” is used as an adjective in front of every other noun (“fucking this,” “fucking that.”) It’s boring, tiresome, and detracts me from the message.
I have to come down on the side of using it for emphasis, when there is strong emotion. And, of course, some bloggers don’t swear because that wouldn’t be them. That’s not how they normally talk.
I’m glad you brought up culture because, there you go. That’s another factor to consider.
And I agree with you on use it or not. Nothing is more pathetic than F____ or @#$%^. : )
Karen says
May 8, 2011 at 6:38 amHonestly, I would say using the same word (any word)23 times in a 500 word post is a sign of bad writing/editing (which is not always the same thing as bad blogging). I tend to fall on the ‘just plain lazy’ side on this one. Strong language can be very effective in writing, especially when writing about things that genuinely make you angry (or make your characters angry, when writing fiction). But, like most strong/distinctive words, it is much more effective when used sparingly. Strong language can, and should, make an impact, but there are other ways to make an impact with your writing. Overusing it, to me, is lazy.
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 7:52 amKaren,
I find it fascinating the different takes on this issue and the factors—gender, age, culture, profession—that impact opinions. And I never used to think a lot about the difference between being a blogger and being a writer, but this discussion is really pointing out the differences.
Thanks for weighing in as a professional writer.
Dianne Greenlay says
May 8, 2011 at 8:27 amHaving raised a family of 6 (yep, count ’em, SIX) teenagers into adulthood, I have noticed that the present generation of “twenty-somthings” has a much more relaxed vocabulary than the previous one does (that would be my age group – the fabulous fifties).
The “f bomb”, although once highly offensive to me, has lost its shock value for the most part, because of its ubiquitous use. It seems to me that its casual and frequent inclusion in speech and writing now, is done out of habit rather than with the intent to be offensive/aggressive as it was thirty years ago.
Nevertheless, I can’t get past my personal impression (it surfaces only for a brief moment, but is still there) that a writer or speaker who uses frequent expletives might have a vocabulary shortage. It’s just a culturally-incited knee-jerk reaction but it’s all in the ear of the beholder, right?
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 8:57 amDianne,
Another perspective. That of a parent. Cool.
I’m with you on it not necessarily being offensive. For me, it’s the redundancy. It just detracts from the message (at least to me).
I get the generational thing. And I don’t think that they are meaning to be offensive. But in a business blog, I have more of a feeling that they are consciously doing it, for whatever reason. I may be wrong about that, though.
This issue has more facets to it than I envisioned. Thanks for adding your thoughts to the conversation.
Robyn M Fritz says
May 8, 2011 at 9:40 amThe whole comments issue is intriguing. As a long-time reporter and op-ed writer I know that most readers seldom respond with a letter to the editor, which is what a comment is. Things are different now because we depend on comments to generate money to keep ourselves going, either that blog, etc we are writing or offers to write for others. I’ve been intrigued that one of my articles on Bridging the Paradigms went all over the world and comments came to me personally, and not on my magazine site.
So no way to know why people unsubscribe. I know I am ‘out there’ with my work and expect it, so my audience is fine-tuning itself. So doubt they unsubscribed because of your article, Judy. Did you ask?
The Internet allows people to have casual conversations in print, the kind they would have in passing with strangers. They swear in person, too.
Short on ideas, short on quality, no business: whether it’s swearing or not, you have to be relevant and have something I an interested in hearing, or bye bye. And that changes daily with what happens in our work and private lives.
The Internet is an
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 9:58 amRobyn,
You bring an interesting perspective, with your background in writing, reporting and blogging (yes, I know, you call it an “online magazine,” but I think it’s a blog, too). : )
Never thought about a blog comment being the equivalent to a letter to the editor. Nice analogy. Your last paragraph is an important distinction. Whether we swear or not, our content needs to be relevantto the reader and her needs, or she won’t hang around.
I never ask my unsubscribers “why.” Their reasons could be many and I respect their decision. It would be interesting to know the reasons, though.
Julia says
May 8, 2011 at 9:45 amGenerally not a fan in blogs of use of the f-word (or other swears)–or for that matter hate messages, rants and raves, bullying, or cheapshots. That said, if swears are used occasionally to make a point, then I have no problem at all with it. If it’s excessive, then I probably wouldn’t make a habit of frequenting the blog.
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 10:01 amJulia,
No on the bullying, hate messages and cheap shots. But I have to admit that I like an occasional rant. Feels like somehow I get to know the blogger better when those emotions surface. If overused, they would become tiresome, though.
Thanks for weighing in on the issue.
Marnie - The UnBlogger says
May 8, 2011 at 9:56 amTo swear or not to swear has been a question I’ve asked myself since I started blogging way back when. I do swear occasionally in my personal life but I haven’t found a place for it in my blogging. As a high school teacher I hear the f-bomb a lot and often it stems from laziness (in my opinion). But it sounds like in the case you’re describing that the blogger is using it deliberately. I’m guessing most bloggers aren’t lazy because it’s a lot of work to maintain a blog. Also, as a teacher I have to watch what I put out there on the world wide web!
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 10:14 amMarnie,
Yours are special circumstances. And you are wise to weight the possible effects. Whether it’s fair or not, teachers are held to a different standard.
I see a lot of college kids on Facebook putting all this stuff out there, not just profanities but way too much about their personal lives. They don’t know that something like 80 percent of employers now check what you are doing and saying online before they hire (or even offer an interview). That’s a totally different topic for another time, but still…
I go back and forth on “lazy.” Because if a blogger wanted to be sure she had just the right message out there, she can use that delete button. That’s what editing is all about.
Thanks for offering a teacher’s perspective. : )
Torrey Shannon says
May 8, 2011 at 10:13 amGreat topic and discussion, Judy! I saw your link via Facebook and just had to pop in and add my two cents. 🙂
For me, blogging is just one outlet of many that I use to process information or educate and interact with a wider audience. As a general rule, I detest the use of profanity; however, I use it for special occasions. I’ll explain:
I have teenaged boys so I drive it into them that the use of profanity is not acceptable in everyday conversation. But, at the same time, I have been a military wife for so long that I am also accustomed to hearing it. Or using it.
I belong to a small population of caregivers of severely-injured veterans. We deal with incredibly frustrating situations on a daily basis, more so than the average stressed-out executive, overworked and underpaid business owner, or frazzled stay-at-home Mom. We deal with conflicts from all directions, anything and everything from an always-broken Veterans Administration system, uncaring military commanders, exhausted hospital staff, clueless family members and in-laws, indifferent administrative desk jockeys, self-serving politicians, or a general public that just doesn’t “get it” – and even worse – citizens that will go so far as to stalk, harass, impersonate or abuse us via the internet and beyond. I have personally dealt with people who have accused my 100% disabled husband of “stealing their hard earned tax dollars” because he receives a disability check and have been asked how I enjoy “sleeping next to a murderer.” One group of internet users stalked me and my family for three years before they finally moved on to their next victim. This is a sport for some people, and military families are typically their target.
In those moments I will react in a visceral way to those emotionally-charged topics or experiences. I will cuss in the course of explaining how this negatively affects my husband, his recovery, our children, our family, and me. My choice of words reflect on the emotion behind the issue.
When this happens, 99% of the time I will make the necessary mark on my readers. The other 1% will respond with an unsubscribe, unfriend, or a lecture on how my F-Bomb was not necessary. They usually state the reason why they are leaving: their delicate senses were affronted by one four-letter word.
Those who read my articles, blog entries, or even my status updates on a regular basis will know that I rarely pepper my writings with profanity. They understand the importance of the message and the occasional use of a four-letter word. Those who read just one piece and find they cannot get past a word that is carefully used for emphasis are not the kind of readers I wish to retain. You see, I am at a place in my life that I will say what I want to say. I offer no apologies for my opinion and have no desire to please everyone all the time.
In the case of the blogger who used dozens of F-Bombs in the course of one blog entry? That’s hard to do. Even I couldn’t infuse a total rage with that many profanities. Either his vocabulary is diluted or he’s extremely adept at providing shock value to his readers.
Lastly, I will say that if I had a blog used strictly for business purposes and had to demonstrate a professional image, I’d refrain from the use of profanity altogether. I’d reserve that language for a “special” outlet where it would be deemed acceptable.
So there you have it. I have an occasional potty mouth and I don’t plan on changing that anytime too soon.
Blessings to you!
Torrey
http://www.torreyshannon.com
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 10:48 amTorrey,
First of all, thank you for the important work you do. There are those of us out there who appreciate the sacrifices you (and your family) make on a daily basis.
I am appalled at what people think they have a right to say to you. Reacting in “a visceral way” is understandable. You are protecting yourself, your husband and your kids.
You make an important distinction here in terms of loyal/regular readers vs. the occasional person who pops in. Making a judgment based on one post is just silly. My blogger makes a habit of it so I have to think it is part of his strategy.
Thanks for leaving such a thoughtful response.
Torrey Shannon says
May 8, 2011 at 12:42 pmJudy, I thank you for your kind response!
My best friend is a hard-core homeschooling Christian Mom of four. If she can take my occasional use of profane words, anyone can. But I also understand why she’d find it offensive. I try to be respectful of her wishes not to be barraged with cussing. Sometimes I spell it out entirely, other times I mask it. But I do use profanity.
It think it would be hard to brand myself with profanity like others do. I would assume that they use it as fluently in everyday conversation. I don’t, so that’s why it would be WORK for me to find that many cuss words.
To me, a blog is your conversational voice. If you spouted enough F-Bombs to match “Get Shorty” or “The Godfather” – I’d click right out of the blog and find more meaningful discussions elsewhere.
I guess I am somewhat of a hypocrite. 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 1:32 pmTorrey,
Great point. I know that personally, I wouldn’t much enjoy a conversation with someone of the Get Shorty brand of language. So that just carries over to the written word, too. In any case, for authenticity’s sake, hopefully those two personas are one and the same. It’s kind of important to the trust-building process for me.
Esther says
May 8, 2011 at 11:59 amAs a 61 year old conservative, Christian, mother and grandma…I tend to lose respect for people who use a lot of profanities in their speech. If they use it in a blog, I feel more strongly about it because they had to take the time to type it in there, when in speech, you can give them the benefit of the doubt…perhaps it fell out of their mouth in anger or frustration. I don’t pay good money to hear that kind of language in the movies, and I don’t like it in my daily life. I think it shows a lack or respect for those around you. As for the character in a book, I can understand the profanity defining the character, but I really don’t read those types of books either. I am quite picky about what I subject myself to.
Judy Dunn says
May 8, 2011 at 12:23 pmThanks, Esther. I appreciate hearing your perspective. It just so reinforces the targeting of a blog audience. And the right of a reader to leave or stay, depending on their feelings and needs.
Your point is well taken.
Barbara Swanson Sherman says
May 9, 2011 at 4:25 amI’m a church lady who uses the f word on occasion in conversation for punctuation and spice. That only works if I use it sparingly and I never use in in writing. When my son was 2 he explained the concept of keeping language appropriate to the setting.
He went with his dad every week to a men’s basketball game. One morning he was having a time out because he had called his sister a bad name. After thinking about it he said, “Daddy, I’m sorry, and I’ll never call Jessie a dummy-stupid again… And we only say ‘Fuck’ at the basketball game.”
Judy Dunn says
May 9, 2011 at 7:40 amBarbara,
Thanks for making me smile. Two-year-olds have a way of cutting to the core, don’t they? : )
Miss GOP says
May 9, 2011 at 1:09 pmIn all depends on the context. I don’t mind swearing in verbal or written communication as long as it makes sense for the writer/speaker and the subject matter. Having said that, sometimes it does throw me off when I see swearing in blog posts. There’s an art to it, I’d say.
Judy Dunn says
May 10, 2011 at 9:24 amYes. Definitely an art to it. : )
Rusty Lee says
May 9, 2011 at 4:34 pmGreat Discussion. It has perhaps toned down my view on the use of swearing in blogs and other writing.
I grew up in a very rough neighborhood from the “wrong side of the tracks” in a land far away and a time long ago. In that world if you couldn’t have an entire conversation using about four swear words you weren’t considered a normal person. They were used in every grammatical way: nouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, punctuation, contractions—everything. The idea that it’s a generational thing doesn’t hold true for me.
I came to have two viewpoints about swearing because of that extreme overuse. I felt that: 1) Using a lot of swearing in your speech means a lack of intelligence and/or education, and 2) If that was all you could use to express yourself then there wasn’t anything important for me to hear from you.
Whenever I see swear words used in a professional presentation either in person or in writing—I immediately dismiss that source. There can’t possibly be anything of value in it for me.
Don’t get me wrong–I still use a few swear words when I’m really upset—but very rarely in public. I’m not a prude by any measure at all–because I’ve seen and heard most everything you can imagine.
I had never considered the idea that someone might intentionally use the F bomb to gain attention. That’s the tone down part on my view point. But I’m still old school: If you can’t say it professionally and with reasonably good grammar–then there’s not much — if any value in what is said.
If you want me to read, listen, buy or pay attention to what you have to say–Keep It Clean!
Have a Great Day,
Rusty Lee
Judy Dunn says
May 10, 2011 at 9:27 amRusty,
You see, for you it was a product of your environment. But yet in professional settings, you don’t use it. What I think has happened is that social media has allowed us to be more bold (and in some cases ruder). Don’t know why that is unless it’s the “anonymous factor.” (We don’t really know who we are talking to.) Great points you made here.
Jon Stow says
May 11, 2011 at 1:43 am“If you can’t say it professionally and with reasonably good grammar–then there’s not much — if any value in what is said.”
Yes, Rusty, I’m with you. The English language is versatile enough without swear words. They don’t add anything except to say something about the writer. We all know the words, but actually to type them seems to make a statement, whereas if they slipped out in speech we would attach far less to them.
Krissy Brady, Writer says
May 9, 2011 at 5:18 pmWhat an interesting discussion! I’m a walking conundrum in this department: in my day-to-day life, I can be a potty-mouth. I have no idea where the habit came from to be honest and it’s become such a habit I barely realize I’m doing it. However, with anything work-related or anything related to my writing and blogging, I barely ever swear. In fact, I think one of my characters has sworn once in the six chapters I’ve written of my WIP and that’s it.
I’ll swear around those I’m close to, but I never take the chance if I’m trying to make a professional impression, and in my writing I would only use swear words if it brought something to the character I’m writing about. In terms of blogging, in my opinion, it would be dependent upon the audience, the topic, and the general personality of blogger. There might be a few “tasteful” ways to use swear words to draw attention, but I don’t think there are very many.
Judy Dunn says
May 10, 2011 at 9:29 amKrissy,
A walking conundrum. Ha! Interesting comparison you make: personal vs professional. Problem is, these days, those lines are getting blurred (which is not necessarily a bad thing).
Some would say that the way we present ourselves online should be congruent with who we are in “real life.” I’m loving this discussion.
Krissy Brady, Writer says
May 10, 2011 at 7:10 pmI’m loving it too! I agree that the lines are becoming blurred, and I love blogging for the simple fact that in properly connecting with your readers, you really do need to be yourself. However, I just can’t swear on a professional level–I feel like, as a writer, there are so many words in the English language to use, that I would be betraying my craft in not trying to be more creative. Of course, there have been days where my computer f*cked up and I lost a blog post I was working on, and yes there was almost profanity spewed on the screen, HAHA. 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 11, 2011 at 8:13 amKrissy,
But you see, you are a writer. Are we really that different from “normal people”? : )
Krissy Brady, Writer says
May 11, 2011 at 2:50 pmNah, not that different. Just different enough, with a touch of creativity. I think maybe we’re more resourceful with our words, since they are our living? But certainly, give me a computer crash or my favourite pen breaks, and yes the profanities will fly, *snorts. 🙂
Judy Dunn says
May 12, 2011 at 6:50 amKrissy,
I think you are right. It’s what we do, this writing thing. : )
AD Bane says
May 10, 2011 at 6:56 amHi Judy,
I think you’re quite right: it can be a branding technique, and I could see it working quite well IF that is your brand. It would all depend on the person, and how well they utilize it as their brand.
As far as characters, in both television and books, it can be really defining too. After all, the goal of MOST every author is to create something that is believable, and they do that by mirroring the world they see. And no one can deny we live in a pretty gritty world!
The most important thing to pay attention to then: is it really helping your brand? Or is it just driving away readers, or fans, who would otherwise be following you? That’s what you have to decide.
For myself, when I read a blog or book or watch a show, I’m not paying attention to every word. I miss all the swearing, because what I’m watching for the is characterization. So if that’s what it takes to make the character or the brand strong, then you’ll have me hooked!
Judy Dunn says
May 10, 2011 at 9:33 amAD,
Thanks for popping over from the Writer Unboxed blog. I appreciate the visit. (I’m loving the rich discussion over there, too.)
I get your point about creating believable characters. Makes total sense. But for a person who blogs on behalf of his business? Not so Sure. Unless he wants to create an exclusive community and just attract a certain kind of reader/customer? But then that’s what target marketing is all about, right? : )
AD Bane says
May 10, 2011 at 10:20 amExactly.
I certainly agree that in most cases, for most bloggers and marketers, use of excessive profanity only drives away potential customers. It wouldn’t be very wise, to say the least!
But, like you said, it’s a branding technique, so IF that is their brand, then it certainly could be the key to drawing in customers 😉
BTW, I am quite impressed with the discussion you have stirred up here too! 😛
Judy Dunn says
May 10, 2011 at 11:28 amThanks, AD. It has been said that branding is a way to control your message. But the brand is ultimately how your customer views you and the customer experience. So you want to be sure the customer is seeing you the way you want to be seen. Excellent thinking and sharing here in the comments. : )
Catharine says
May 10, 2011 at 2:03 pmI love this post. I find that lots of obscenity in a book, blog, article or tv show is huge turn off. On occasion when that defines the character I can get past it but usually F-bombs just distract me. I find that I can usually convey anger, frustration, and general irritation without resorting to swearing.
I will not say I am a premium writer. In fact, as God has led I have become a writer. This was an exercise in obedience not a passionate love of words. I am growing there. That said I just don’t understand the purpose of mass amounts of swearing.
Caite
Caites-whispertothewind.blogspot.com
Judy Dunn says
May 11, 2011 at 8:15 amThanks for chiming in here. We seem to have three distinct opinions: doesn’t-bother-me; can-take-little-in-context; and I-won’t-stick-around-if-you-do-it. Interesting hearing the different perspectives.
Davina K. Brewer says
May 10, 2011 at 8:16 pmHad to pop over via a Danny Brown tweet, interesting discussion. Add another vote for: It’s all about context. In “The Departed” the swearing doesn’t even feel gratuitous IMO, even adds to the humor while in other contexts it does seem inappropriate. IDK.. people curse, they do. Maybe not all the time, but they do: in living rooms and and meeting rooms and boardrooms.
I’ve let a few words slip past and selected a graphic not too long ago with the F-bomb in it. I was ranting and it was done for emphasis and humor .. just commented elsewhere that sometimes my profanity is selected for those reasons. It does catch the eye in writing sometimes more than it catches the ear.
Depending on the blog and blogger, strategy is a mystery. It’d have to be the edgiest “we’re not for everyone and don’t care” kind of corporate blog to let that type of thing fly.. thinking Someecards. For an individual blog, personal or professional… just a style choice. But without reading the post.. hard to say if 23 out of 500 words is ‘too’ many. Was it a casual post or something this person was really going off the cuff, clearly in the heat of the moment? Since you said this person routinely peppers his (or was it her?) posts with the salty dialogue, my guess… 6 to 5 and pick ’em of lazy vs. ‘edgy’ writing. FWIW.
Judy Dunn says
May 11, 2011 at 8:18 amDavina,
Good to see you here! Actually, the post was meant to be inspirational (get off your butt, get real, etc.) Thanks for voting here. I’m thinking style and also a conscious decision to attract and retain a certain audience. But who knows?
Bill Dorman says
May 11, 2011 at 9:49 amI should have known if they were dropping the F bomb I would find you over here, my bayou bengal tiger.
And I know your comeback is “Dorman, I knew I’d find you over here if they were talking about lazy”.
I’m dropping the F bomb now because I mistakenly checked the block to receive ALL e-mails. My e-mails are blowing up thank you very much Ms Judy.
If you do a post on porn I’m not even going to comment…….just sayin’……I needs my e-mail.
Great turnout Judy, way to go.
Judy Dunn says
May 11, 2011 at 10:25 amBill, my friend,
That’s a great idea. Next post on porn. (Scribbles it down.)
That’ll teach you to be careless with the boxes you check. : )
Renee DeCoskey says
May 10, 2011 at 9:43 pmWhat an excellent conversation, Judy! This one really got me thinking.
First off, maybe I’m kind of a 20-something anomaly, but I hate “the F word.” I’ve never liked it because it just makes me think of people having rage fits (though I understand that’s not always where it’s coming from or why people use it). On the rare occasions I’ve used it, it’s always been in speech, never in text, and to convey extreme anger.
But your post made me think a little more about why I hate it. Like so many others have mentioned, context seems to be key.
When I first read this post, I thought about my 18 year old brother, who throws that word around like nobody’s business. My first inclination is to cringe because I hate it and don’t think it’s necessary quite as often as he uses it (which is, to put the George Carlin reference into play, as every part of speech). But I think what also bothers me that I’d never been able to pinpoint before is that it’s just so tired. It doesn’t add much of anything for me because I see it and hear it so often that, as a number of people have said, it just distracts me from what someone is trying to say.
I don’t unfollow blogs when I come across it, although I’ve never come across one that’s quite like what you’re describing. There’s a fine line, I think, between using swear words to brand yourself as casual and maybe even a bit edgy, and coming across as arrogant and disrespectful — untouchable, even. The casual swearing in general doesn’t bother me because I enjoy a conversational tone. An instance or two of my least favorite word wouldn’t bother me too much, either. But when someone uses it just to use it and it comes across as such…well, then that’s where they start to lose me.
As a blogger, I don’t swear often. There may be a hell, piss, or damn in there on occasion, but I don’t really have a NEED to swear because I never saw it as contributing much to what I was trying to say.
As a fiction writer, though, I’ve learned to separate myself from my characters. The novel that I’m working on right now features a main character who began the story by swearing. A lot. Lots of f-bombs. Uncharacteristic for me, but it fit that character because I don’t think he really did know how to communicate effectively. As the story went on, he started swearing less and less frequently and I was wondering if it was because I was losing sight of the story or if it was something else. After reading this post and some of the comments, I thought about my story and realized that as my character became a more effective communicator, he didn’t need those words as much. I think that’s a pretty cool realization. 🙂
Great topic!
Judy Dunn says
May 11, 2011 at 8:22 amRenee,
Great points. Thanks for weighing in here.
The thing is, the use of this word (and other R-rated language) has changed. It is no longer just someone having rage fits, as you said. It’s people wh are trying to motivate and inspire. And bloggers who are just providing casual information/tips (“Look it up on fucking Google”). It just seems like it has no meaning anymore.
Courtney Cantrell says
May 11, 2011 at 10:48 amJudy, thanks for this post. I am of a generation in which the use of the “f-bomb” is pretty common; plus, I grew up in Germany, where there’s not as great a cultural taboo on swearing as there is in the United States.
That said, I don’t use that kind of language, myself — neither in speech nor in writing. In my novels, a few of my characters are daring enough to say “damn” and “hell,” but that’s about as far as it goes. ; )
I won’t use the f-word because I think it’s a stupid word. It’s so overused in so many contexts, it has lost all meaning. To me, using it shows a lack of creativity — unless it’s used in a way or to an effect I haven’t read/heard before. It’s kind of like the word “totally.” Or “awesome.” A been-there-done-that word that no longer means anything at all, really.
If someone used the f-word as an adverb to good effect, I might be impressed. ; )
Courtney Cantrell says
May 11, 2011 at 10:59 amAll of that said, I should add that when it comes to “bad language,” I think non-swear-words that are used to cut, criticize, or ridicule another person are far worse and more damaging to any type of relationship than are profanities. I’ll unfollow someone because they’re negative long before I’ll unfollow them for their f-bombs.
Judy Dunn says
May 11, 2011 at 11:31 amWell said. : )
AD Bane says
May 11, 2011 at 11:32 amCourtney,
I’m glad you added that. I feel much the same. It’s not so much WHAT you say as HOW you say it 😉
Courtney Cantrell says
May 11, 2011 at 7:44 pmThanks, AD. I grew up in circles in which vulgar language was considered immoral. Over the years, I’ve come to believe that “nice language,” when misused, can drive a person to greater depths of immorality and unkindness than any “swear word” ever could.
Torrey Shannon says
May 12, 2011 at 2:48 amIf this had a “Like” button under it, I’d be clicking the dickens out of it. Well said.
Judy Dunn says
May 12, 2011 at 6:49 amTorrey,
Your wish is my command. I’m switching to the Livefyre commenting system, hopefully within the next week. Like buttons, easier ways to engage and interact and lots of other cool features. Hope you’ll come back and see the remodeled Cat’s Eye house. : )
Judy Dunn says
May 11, 2011 at 11:30 amSo many opinions here. : )
Now, that’s a challenge, use the f-word as an adverb. But then it would have to end in -ly, wouldn’t it? That begs the question: what part of speech is the sucker?
Courtney Cantrell says
May 11, 2011 at 7:36 pmYes, it would need to end in -ly. And as for what part of speech it is — isn’t like the age-old chicken-or-the-egg? ;-D
Judy Dunn says
May 12, 2011 at 6:51 amHe fuckingly passed her the mashed potatoes. Hmmm. Can’t quite picture that. : )
Courtney Cantrell says
July 12, 2013 at 11:58 amJudy, I checked this thread again today because I got a notification that someone else left a comment. Am just now seeing your example of the adverb usage above — and sitting here laughing like a loon. I can’t quite picture that either, but it’s got to be wildly entertaining. ; D
Judy Lee Dunn says
July 12, 2013 at 12:30 pmHaha. A two-year lapse and this post is getting some new eyes. Yes, fuck-as-adverb. That IS a sight.
trevorsmalls2 says
May 13, 2011 at 7:58 amI’d like to know the context of the f-bomb before judging. F-bombs are voice tools–it is what is is.
Judy Dunn says
May 13, 2011 at 8:13 amYes, definitely, context is important. And I am all for a bloggers nailing their voice and branding themselves. For me, the meaning of a piece is lost if the f-bombs are overused.
Thanks for sharing here. Great to get other opinions.
bdorman264 says
May 13, 2011 at 8:16 amMake it stop…………….no more comments………………………
Judy, you knocked this one way out………….:)
JudyDunn says
May 13, 2011 at 8:19 am@trevorsmalls2 Thanks for your feedback on this. Definitely, context is key. And, yes, bloggers need a distinctive voice and brand. But I still think that, like anything else, it it’s overused, the piece/blog post loses its meaning.
JudyDunn says
May 13, 2011 at 8:21 am@bdorman264 Okay Bill. It IS getting a bit much. : )
But I just switched to livefyre and I think there must be a way to only be notified when someone responds to a comment you made? Still trying to figure out this system.
courtcan says
May 13, 2011 at 10:25 amI dunno, Judy…I’m picturing *something*, and it is somewhat entertaining! ;-D
TammyRedmon says
May 16, 2011 at 3:16 pmInteresting thought on Target Audiences @JudyDunn I went to see a movie with the husband this weekend and they used a lot…A LOT of F-Bombs and the movie was targeting a female demographic. Now the women I hang out with don’t drop that word left and right, but they sure did in the movie. So is it targeting an audience or for special effect when they’ve got nothing else??
I have pondered your post often since reading it. I’m enjoying the comments from other folks too. It’s interesting the way language affects our listening and our reactions. For women, we are often labeled by language we use, while men are elevated. And in transparency, I noticed that my reaction to language has been heightened since reading this too. Some time I’ll tell you about the trip for a Pedicure last week. My oh My!
TammyRedmon says
May 16, 2011 at 3:17 pmThanks @Jon Stow for the acknowledgment. Sounds like (if I am a prude) I keep good company. 🙂
annedreshfield says
May 31, 2011 at 12:45 pmHi Judy, Anne, community manager intern at Livefyre here. I’m studying writing in school and the only time I ever hear a professor encourage swearing is in creative works — novels, poems, the like. Sometimes, swearing is encouraged in personal narrative/memoir work. That advice is always doled out with the caution that it’s often used to shock, and not much else. I’m not sure if it’s ever been seen as a positive form of expression in academic spheres, but if I hear that in my next two years in college, I’ll let you know!
On the other hand, I have had my characters swear in fiction. That usually stems from their personalities, though I do always have to keep my audience in mind. If I had a YA audience, I would have to rein myself in to a few select swear words or (gasp!) use none at all. I suppose the message is the same across the board: pay attention to your audience and go from there.
JudyDunn says
May 31, 2011 at 1:15 pm@annedreshfield Well, what an internship experience you have ahead of you. : )
I came from an education background and you are right. Rarely seen there. I think when we are talking fiction, though, all bets are off. I think that can help to define the character. It’s just that in social media, sometimes I think there is a disconnect between the blogger and who he or she is offline (or in other modes of communication). Guess it’s really the whole authenticity issue for me.
Thanks for weighing in here. Have fun on your livefyre adventure. I’m sure you are going to learn so much. : )
annedreshfield says
May 31, 2011 at 1:36 pm@JudyDunn I think you’re right to value authenticity. I know my blog is a large part of my online presence, and I have to make sure it’s work-appropriate for anyone who might stumble across it. That being said, just because I don’t swear on my blog doesn’t mean I’m not being as authentic as possible. For some others, though, that might not be the case. It’s hard to tell when to draw the line; it’s great that you’re addressing this issue!
Thanks so much! I’m sure I will. 🙂
Tonja Morris says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmNEVER…I always know who my audience is before I do that. Children may read it!
CatsEyeWriter says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmTonja, thanks for weighing in, I think that most business bloggers don’t have children in their readership. But still, yes, they must know their audience. That’s important.
Robyn M Fritz says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmI kinda grew up swearing, which isn’t so nice to a lot of people. I believe in using language that works, and often swearing in print is just lazy, since you have the opportunity to edit. I’m more concerned about people being downright nasty to each other in print and in person, which seems to be on the rise.
CatsEyeWriter says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmRobyn,It’s funny. In the comments on the actual post, it’s a split. Some are not bothered in the least and others feel that the blogger/writer is taking the easy way out. : )
Tonja Morris says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmI don’t expect children to be in the readership of my blog, but I know that my daughter loves to sit next to me as I’m reading blogs, so it’s something I’m conscious about.
CatsEyeWriter says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmGreat point, Tonja. Sounds like you are a very good parent. Happy Mother’s Day! : )
Robyn M Fritz says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmWell, Judy, you and I and a lot of others know we go for explaining why we think the way we do. So if we said we didn’t like something or swore, we’d say why because we are communicators. Stronger statement. Fun thread.
CatsEyeWriter says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmRobyn, I really, really want your to offer your thoughts in the comments section of the above post. Good discussion going on there and you would add such value. : )
CatsEyeWriter says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmRobyn M Fritz Thank you for such an amazingly thoughtful comment on my ‘F-Bomb’ Bloggers post. Quite a discussion going on there. : )
Torrey Shannon says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmWow. By the time I got there to add my two cents, you had all kinds of comments! Great subject, Judy. I just cross-posted your blog discussion to mine. I hope my readers will join your discussion as well: http://www.evolvingblog.com/journal/2011/5/8/f-bomb-bloggers-whats-your-opinion.html
CatsEyeWriter says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmTorrey, Thanks for that amazingly intelligent response (and for linking to my post on your blog). Loving the discussion. : )
Torrey Shannon says
August 29, 2011 at 1:48 pmWhy, thank you. The good news is, I didn’t use profanity! 🙂 You are so sweet to comment with such kindness. Thank you.
steamboat28 says
December 14, 2011 at 4:36 pmI have been known to sprinkle dirty words into my collective online presence. Often, in fact. Generally speaking, though, I attempt only to use them in places where their emphasis is needed, or when I’m literally typing exactly as I’m thinking. Being self-employed, I don’t think either of those are necessarily a bad thing, but I should police my speech a bit better.
That being said, I do have a large vocabulary, and I do my uttermost to make every blog post I write sound as though an intelligent person is writing it (however far from the truth that may be).
JudyDunn says
December 15, 2011 at 8:20 am@steamboat28 Ha! “…as though an intelligent person is writing it…” That’s funny. This has been an interesting discussion. I guess it all boils down to who your customers or clients are and whether you risk losing any of them, or whether it even matters to you if you do. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
Thomas Outt says
July 12, 2013 at 10:41 amNo reason to embrace something that causes discomfort. The “F” in everything lacks any sense of originality & deep thought. If this blogger were to edit this stuff, is there anything left of value in the blog? If not, move on. Sadly, it’s one of the linguistic demons in English usage.
Judy Lee Dunn says
July 12, 2013 at 12:34 pmThomas,
Thanks for weighing in here. I would assume that this blogger, like any blogger, would edit their material before sending it out, so I’m assuming this was the edited version. (Maybe the rough draft had 50 F-bombs in it). : )
Susan Bressler says
July 12, 2013 at 6:33 pmI agree that the context matters. One of my recent favorite humorous books was Julie and Julia based upon the blog she started. She used the “f-word” frequently and it made me laugh. As did one of the characters in the movie “The Heat” that I saw this weekend. (I normally don’t watch silly movies like this, but I like Sandra Bullock.) It just depends, and I’d have to read said blog.
Judy Lee Dunn says
July 13, 2013 at 6:57 amSusan,
That is interesting that in the book the real Julie swore frequently because as I recall, in the movie she didn’t. And, yes, definitely. It’s all relative and context is important.
I didn’t know Sandra Bullock had a new movie out. I’ll have to watch for it to come out in DVD (we don’t watch movies in the theatre anymore). : )
Oz says
July 19, 2013 at 4:22 pmGreat conversation … for 2 years? This is great. And thanks to Bob Dunn for sending me here.
3 thoughts that I have:
1. F-bomb literally
2. F-bomb as representative of language stronger that “Oh, fiddlesticks!”
3. Frequency and use of strong language
As you say, it all depends on purpose and audience.
I have a friend who’s a blogger and she blogs about her life experiences. Lots of f-bombs and risque situations. Ok. Fine. She’s not selling kitchen remodeling or accounting services.
For a professional person, it’s more complex. I like occasional use of strong language because it lets me know that the blogger is a human being and that there are things that matter to them in life.
This struck me for the first time when an architect commented that certain design trends were bullshit. WOW! Here’s a professional who knows what he’s talking about. He’s not some ranting or bitter fool. From what I recall, he was urging his industry to step up and do more and stop recycling/re-packaging old ideas. This was his call to action, and I loved it. He struck me as someone who gives a damn and wants better for everybody.
Contrast that against a blog I unsubscribed from.
The blogger is like “F you if you can’t handle my F-bombs.” The blog is smart, offers lots of value, and there’s lots of strong language. The language didn’t bother me as much as the shtick:
“In your face; something is always wrong; get off your ass and get a life; my clients pay me tons of money to handle their crap so, you’d better listen to me.”
It was cool and inspiring for a while, and then it got exhausting. The blogger was hardly lazy. But as I think about it. Strong language can be used for impact or it can be completely laziness. For this blogger to maintain this high-energy, ranting, preaching and cajoling over a long period of time … GEEZ! I’d see the blogposts in my inbox and wonder if I was in the mind for a tornado or not.
With or without the strong language, that blog was just overbearing in its overall tone. I just had to let it go.
One last point. I disagree that the words have lost their meaning. It’s all contextual. When my mother cusses, something is horribly wrong and it’s time to go hide. She is not a casual cusser. Never was. Conversely, I watch televisions shows and hear “why the bleep didn’t you bleep-ing go buy some bleep-ing gas in that bleep town where we ate lunch? Bleep!”
Ok. That’s where I think the words and meaning are confused. We know the words so stop with the bleeps.
Judy Lee Dunn says
July 20, 2013 at 6:58 amOz,
Wow. What a clear, cogent response. I love your thoughts here. I agree that it also depends on what kind of blogger you are. Someone who blogs about life experiences has much more leeway in the kind of voice they use. And in that situation, I want to get as close to the real person as possible, salty tongue and all.
The blog you mentioned that you unsubscribed from sounds eerily similar to my blogger. He was an in-your-face kind of guy, but to the point of being insulting at times. And the constant use of obscenities, to me, is boring over time. So there you go.
I do not mind a strategically placed swear word or two for emphasis (really, I’m not a prude), but peppered throughout? Not so much. I love your example of your mom. It is exactly my point.You said, “When my mother cusses, something is horribly wrong and it’s time to go hide.” Now there is someone who uses the F word (or another swear word) strategically. And therefore the word has meaning and impact.
You have added such value to this conversation. Thanks.
Oz says
July 20, 2013 at 12:23 pmYour boredom, my exhaustion. I suspect they’re 2 sides of the same coin.
Great conversation!